Your Pathetic Existence, Rated & Roasted by a Jade, your Asian Empress!
Are you a worthless little worm who lives for humiliation? Does the thought of being torn apart by an Asian Empress make your tiny clit twitch? Good. My 1-star reviews are the verbal spanking your fragile ego deserves.
Each review is carefully crafted to highlight your many inadequacies, from your lackluster performance in the bedroom to your overall uselessness as a human being. My words will cut deep, piercing your fragile ego and leaving you a quivering, sniveling mess.
🍆 WHAT YOU’LL GET:
➡️The Verbal Annihilation: A sc*thing review that will leave you feeling like you've been put through a meat grinder. (75 words, £15)
➡️The Brutal Truth: A harsh, no-holds-barred a**essment of your many failures. (50 words, £10)
➡️The Merciless Roast: A review that will leave you feeling like you've been slow-cooked over an open flame. (25 words, £5)
Add-ons:
💦The Personalised Insult: A custom-crafted insult tailored to your specific shortcomings. (+£5)
💦The Photo Review: A review accompanied by a mocking, humiliating photo of your...ahem...equipment. (+£10)
⚠️ TERMS OF YOUR EMBARRa**MENT:
😈You must grovel in your purchase note (e.g., Please ruin me, Goddess)
😈We don’t offer refunds for emotional damage or deep life realisations after your review
Disclaimer: All reviews are for entertainment purposes only. Or are they? 👑
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